Brown Eyes

Facebook recently asked me what is my most treasured memory?

My first answer was pretty obvious,

The Park.

But then it became less obvious. And then I settled on something,

BROWN EYES.

I remember it so clearly.

From the way they turned from a luscious chocolate brown

To a brown that was filled with so much fire that they changed color.

From the way that I felt so safe in your embrace that nothing else mattered.

I think it was at that moment that I realized how much I was addicted to it.

To your touch.

Your kiss.

Your hands grabbing my throat as I placed them there.

How I called out your name, or the version that best suited me that is.

But it took until this moment to realize that I had chosen the same guy multiple times.

Infinity times in a row, where I choose someone that didn’t want to chose me back.

Where they chose everyone but me.

I didn’t understand how I could give you everything and you gave me nothing back.

I didn’t realize that I loved you until I showed you my all and you returned the favor, but only a little

You told me your story and I told you some of mine.

The parts that I never tell.

I didn’t realize how much it affected me until all I could think about was being in your arms.

Until all I could all I could think about is you touching me.

Touching me in places where I only want you to touch.

Until I realized something, you wouldn’t touch me all the time because I came last in everything.

I came last for your looks.

Last for your affection.

Last for your friendship.

Last for everything, when I should have been at least a close second.

So now I know Brown eyes.

I can’t fall for you anymore.

I know it sound racist when you think about.

Not dating brown eyes because of the past.But the one thing that I realized when I was writing this,

Something that I thought I could get over, popped into my head.

Even before there were other brown eyes

Good Brown eyes.

There is one pair I could never forget.

The pair that ruined all that was good about me.

All that was semi pure,

The first pair of Brown eyes that destroyed me.

Brown Eyes

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